


27 dinner plates 37 butter knives 47 paperweights 57 candleholders

by ohmalleys



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 14:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9766802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmalleys/pseuds/ohmalleys
Summary: robin has something important to tell batman





	

upon robin’s arrival and integration into the wayne manor and the lifestyle around it (once everything had settled down), he was a bit at peace. it was difficult for someone as antsy (and excitable! cannot forget that) as him to simply just exist. he liked to explore. a lot of exploration.   
  
he especially liked to go into every room of wayne manor just to take count of the simple things. how many pillows were on each bed? how many bathrooms were on each floor? how many cobwebs could he find in the corners of rooms long untouched (though he did notify alfred of said rooms when he was too short to clean up the cobwebs himself)? the numbers (the sheer existence of a mansion with so many variables and listable aspects) comforted him, especially when he was feeling particularly antsy.   
  
alfred obviously took notice first, after robin kept reporting cobweb sightings. over a cookie-baking session, alfred had leaned across the island in the kitchen and said,” master dick, are you a fan of numbers?”   
  
robin was taken aback by this question,” well grandpa. hmm.” he rolls some dough into a perfectly-shaped ball and places it onto the baking sheet in the meanwhile,” i wouldn’t say it’s numbers specifically. it’s organization.. maybe. maybe it’s that? augh! jeez, i can’t explain it, actually.”   
  
and while robin finds himself getting frustrated at the inability to put his thoughts into words and his words into a coherent explanation, alfred simply just shakes his head,” i’m sorry i phrased it like that. it just seems that… you’re a little peculiar. in a good way, of course. it’s just that i don’t think i know very many young boys like you, is all.”   
  
robin smiles,” so you’re saying i’m unique! hehe, i guess i’ve always been a bit of an oddball.” he goes over to the sink to wash off his hands while alfred puts the sheet into the oven. robin scrubs at his hands, hating the feeling of anything sticky or strange on them for longer than necessary. he sings ‘happy birthday’ to himself twice under his breath just to make sure he’s getting the job done.   
  
alfred joins him at the sink to clean the bowl they had been using and hands robin the mixer that has some dough leftover on it for him to lick clean. robin happily accepts this offer.

* * *

robin is a bit nosy. he’s not intentionally, of course. it just so happens that if someone is doing something, he’s definitely got to know what it is. he stumbles across alfred reading in one of the many studies of the manor one morning while doing some scoping out of the tenth floor. alfred seems a bit startled for a moment, his reading glasses sloping down the bridge of his nose.  
  
robin smiles,” hiya grandpa! oh--and what’s this novella you’re reading?” he tilts his head to peak at the title while alfred shifts his hands a bit to cover it more. robin frowns,” is something wrong?”   
  
alfred sighs, lets his hands lower more to his lap,” master dick, forgive me for being so personal, but back at the orphanage did you have many friends?”   
  
robin thinks for the moment. he doesn’t really frown, but he sounds somewhat downcast in his reply,” no, well, actually.. i don’t think i had any friends. gosh.”   
  
alfred persists, trying to keep his tone approachable,” well, but you had your interests, correct? is that what you did to pass the time?”   
  
the boy’s face lights up,” well, yes! i was very busy learning my up-close street magic and perfecting my driftwood art and… well, you get the point! i was very very busy.”  
  


then he thinks on it a little more since he can’t read the expression alfred is giving him (does he want him to keep talking? is he thinking of something?),” i was also very interested in batman! i memorized all his showdowns against any bad guys and all the gear he has--and that was before he was even my dad!”  
  
alfred lets out a steady ‘hmm’ and closes the book in his hands, as if he’s made up his mind. he then offers to give robin another cooking lesson, which is readily taken up. 

* * *

 barbara is a little more direct,” autism, huh?” she’s teaching robin how to use nunchucks, with this coming in the middle of the lesson.  
  
robin twirls the nunchaku in his hands,” au-what now?” he sets the weapon down, unable to hold up a conversation while still attempting to learn a new art form.  
  
barbara gives him a crooked smile,” alfred told me.” and then a beat passes and her face falters,” and let me guess… alfred never told you.”   
  
robin shakes his head and she sighs,” i can never tell what is and isn’t known fact around here, sorry.” she sits down on the training mat in the makeshift gym (it turns out batman isn’t big on gyms, but with the addition of barbara in the household, she was dead set on at least one punching bag).  
  
“i’ve never heard of uhh.. autism?” robin usually felt like a particularly smart boy for his age, so coming across things he didn’t know was always a little more upsetting than it should be.  
  
barbara shrugs,” i mean, i hadn’t known much about it myself until alfred kind of… explained it to me. which he only did because he cares about you!” and robin cocks his head to the side as a response and she sighs,” kiddo, it’s nothing to be ashamed of or.. ugh, i mean.. what i’m trying to say is.. okay, this isn’t going as well as i thought it would. i should have totally planned something. maybe a slideshow.”  
  
robin picks up the conversation for her,” so is it.. not a bad thing then?” and barbara shakes her head so hard her ponytails whips her in the face (it’s pretty funny!). robin has a small confused smile on his face,” so then why are you and alfred being so weird about it?”   
  
barbara sighs and shrugs,” actually, i don’t know. this must feel totally ostracizing for you, huh?”  
  
“ma’am, i don’t even know what ostrich-sizing is.”

* * *

a fair share of reading-up occurs. robin snatches a few of the books it seems alfred is collecting (he also notes the assortment of parenting books he also has lying around) just to make sure he understands. it all seems click, oddly enough. not that robin hadn’t trusted what was being told to him, it was just that it was so odd to see himself described on a page.  
  
he spends a week or so reading up on autism. the more he reads, the happier he feels. it’s like a weight he didn’t know existed was off his shoulders. alfred notes this change while they pass by each other,” master dick, you have quite the pep in your step today.”  
  
robin simply spins in a circle as his hands flap at his sides (which he always had been doing, but now that he was aware of it happening it felt even more fulfilling).   
  
it wasn’t until a bit later that robin considers that telling batman would be the strangest thing. robin figures, okay, he totally has to tell him this though! right? while in deep thought, robin chews on the collar of his sweater. then he remembers that alfred had gifted him with a chewy necklace a few days ago, so robin fishes that out from under his sweater and chews on that instead. alfred was always so thoughtful!   
  
back on the topic at hand, robin knows nothing is wrong and that he isn’t in trouble or anything, but he also couldn’t help but to feel guilty. he tells batman everything! even when batman tells him he’s oversharing, robin definitely has to tell him the importance of contact juggling in his childhood or about the time he ate a page from a goosebumps book because it was too scary. these are important things!  
  
but alfred and barbara (though they definitely didn’t mean it!) made this whole thing sound like a big deal. but robin knew he should probably get to batman before one of them got to him first. that would seem fair, right? and then maybe it won’t sound like such a big of a deal if he told batman instead of someone else.  
  
his planned ambush was while batman was showing him around the batcave (he was mainly just pointing to differently vehicles and telling cool stories about himself that robin TECHNICALLY already knew but was fine listening to again).   
  
“batdad?” his voice is much smaller than he expected it to be. sometimes his volume control was a little more haywire than he desired, but robin chalked this all up to nerves for this occasion.   
  
batman halts himself in the middle of his story,” you didn’t forget to pee again before coming down to the batcave, right? you know there’s no bathrooms down here. just empty spaces filled with regrets and the thoughts of ‘man, there totally should be a bathroom right here or at least somewhere in here’.”   
  
robin shakes his head and laughs. he likes how easy it is to tell when batman is telling a joke, because he always gestures with his hands a lot and uses a specific voice,” no, i just needed to tell you something important.”  
  
batman isn’t one for deep conversations. that’s the thing about him--when he’s bruce wayne then he’s a little more receptive, but the days when batman feels like being bruce wayne are few and far between. robin sort of understands this. sometimes he feels a bit more like robin, boy wonder, over richard grayson.   
  
still, he visibly contains his deep sigh while replying,” and what’s that?”  
  
robin rocks a bit on his heels and fidgets with his hands,” i’m autistic. i just learned i’ve always been! but i wanted to tell you because… i’m not sure. um.”   
  
and batman has a brief unreadable expression before saying ,” thank you for telling me.. but seriously, do you have to pee and you’re just not telling me? we can take the elevator back up if you want. no shame in using the bathroom.”   
  
robin smiles, feeling a bit lighter. he wordlessly wraps his arms around batman and squeezes him tight. batman, always a bit resistant to the constant stream of hugs, still manages to pull the boy in and pat his back.   
  
after robin finally lets him go (boy sure does love his hugs!), batman clears his throat,” so, uh.. you wanna hear about the time i used the batkayak to get back home in time to watch _27 dresses_ on lifetime after TOTALLY kicking two-face’s butt?”  
  
“would i ever!”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to leave comments !! thnx !


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